The Corporate Guide to the e-fficient use of Microsoft Outlook

  • How to turn off arrival indicator.
    • Why?  I like frequent distractions.  I also enjoying distracting others with my Facebook notifications during meetings.
  • How often to check email.
    • Every waking second as we all are too smart for our own good (-6 IQ points)
  • Email etiquette
    • Be sure to reply all with ALL thank you notes.  ALSO, BE SURE TO USE UPPER CASE TO ADD THE PROPER EMOTION TO YOUR EMAILS TO MATCH OUR IN-PERSON COMMUNICATION.
  • How to search email (From x)
    • For those used to instant gratification from using gmail, delayed in-gratification is a valuable life skill.
  • How to discourage email
    • Office hours –
      • 9:00 AM
        • Brilliant timing as everyone else is still answering their emails so no one actually shows up, but we still get credit.
    • 3 strikes and you're out or ball 4, take a walk.
      • But long email threads provide useful material for the book I’m writing in my “spare” time tentatively titled
        “Miscommunication – How email is Destroying Humanity”
    • Remove self from mailing lists.
      • But I like being notified by bots.  It makes me feel more human.
    • Create support web site  
      • But why do we need to provide good customer service?  We are a monopoly.  They have to use us.
    • Periodically change email name
      • I can't even remember my password.
Please be sure to reply all with suggestions on how we ALL can reduce email.

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